The Case of the Mysterious Money Variant
This one is rather funny (in a pathetic sort of way, of course) - it's a Boltinghouse letter that has been modified somewhat - the body of the scam decribes in great detail how you need to send "american dollars," and how you have to go to the bank to get them because "here in Canada" they don't have paper dollars, then the idiot goes on to list his address as in Belgium... now wait a minute.....
Also, the little matter of the semantics of "a piece of paper" seems to have really confused this one.
I'll only tear apart the places where it is blindingly different from a typical Boltinghouse letter.
"Hello,
Take a few minutes to read this. It WILL change your life, really!
IMPORTANT: Please PRINT this message for future reference, or SAVE it to your disk using the [save Message(s) As...] command from the file; be sure to save it as a plain text type (*.txt) and give it a name that you will remember (don't forget the .txt extension!).
[Now on with the show...]
If you are willing to hold on to those five bucks in your pockets instead to go to the movies or to the restaurant, then this is for you. It is completely LEGAL. Best of all, there is NO SCAM.
The Internet grows amazingly! It doubles in size every 4 months. Think about it. You see those "Make Money Fast" posts more and more. That's because it WORKS! The reason you read this is not because of me but for yourself. I am sure you are fed from deceptive phrases and reasons to join money-making operations. You want to know what's REALLY required from you and what you can expect. You want the TRUTH.
This opportunity is here for you and it is your chance to fulfill a lot of dreams of yours... This opportunity is for you to use anytime, whenever you need more money! The bottom line is that IT WORKS! You see, this is finally something that works. No more Commercial scams, no more mail-order schemes, no more tricky marketing, no more 900 number scams (etc.). I'm sure you have tried at least some damned "get rich quick" plan out there. Don't be fooled: THIS works for REAL, unlike all the other schemes you might have seen where you have surely only lost money.
Not to long ago, I was browsing through a newsgroup and saw an article reading as "FASTCASH!!". I thought that it was another "become a multi-millionaire now" scam. But I wanted to see what junk they threw this way...
The article described a way to "Mail a ONE DOLLAR BILL to only FIVE people and make $50,000 in CASH in 4 WEEKS!" I thought.. hmm.. it wouldn't cost me too much: only 5 BUCKS and five STAMPS! That's all I had to pay.. EVER! Unlike expensive MLM startups, if you can afford a chicken sandwich combo, you can afford this opportunity. $5 that's all you pay, EVER!
Not only does it work for me, it worked for other people as well. Markus Valppu says he made $57,883 in 4 weeks. Dave Manning claims he made $53,664 in the same amount of time. Dan Shepstone says it was only $17,000 for him. Do I know these people? No, but when I read how they made it, it made sense to me. So I took a chance and did it for me. Not a big chance, but it had so much potential! "
Yeah, right, we've heard that one thousands of times, right? Up until this point, there was no need to dissect this, because it has been a virtual word-for-word repeat of a typical Boltinghouse spam. Now comes a few changes...
"Ok, maybe $50,000 in cash is hard to imagine. What about $25? Can you get $25 out of this? Of course! Don't tell me that 40 million internet users won't make this work (It worked for me and other people, and I made it work...)
IT DOES WORK! But IT'S UP TO YOU."
That's a new one - well, I suppose enticing people to commit international crimes for a $25 return on $5 might be your cup of tea, but not mine. At least it's a little more accurate as to the real amount of returns you might get.
"IT'S EASY TO BE SUCCESSFUL."
No, it's not. If it was easy, more people would *be* successful, you stupid spammer. Success does not jump out and attack you when you are not looking. It is true that success is simple if you understand the Principles of Success, but it is not easy.
" IT'S ALSO EASY NOT TO BE SUCCESSFUL."
Well, that, for one, is a very true statement - the easy path is usually (99.9999999%) the unsuccessful path. Like the one you are trying to take. Now follow closely in the next section...
"This is what I did:
I MAILED OUT a simple SINGLE american dollar bill to each of the FIVE people on the list contained in the article -your list of people is down below. (I had to go change my money to the bank to get american money because here in Canada we don't have one dollar bills anymore -they replaced them by one dollar coins. Anyway, it wasn't a real big effort for what I would get later. I suggest you do the same if you do not live in the USA.)"
Notice this guy is saying "this is what I did" and talking about how "here in Canada" they don't have dollar bills any more... now if you look at the list "down below," you will notice that this guy is from Belgium!! Geeze, these people are so stupid that they a) don't think (a given) to change little details like that to keep things consistent, or b) don't think (still a given) that others will notice the discrepancies.
"STEP 1) Write your name and COMPLETE address on five sheets of paper (they suggested that I write on pieces of paper but I guess that a whole sheet is good also -at least I prefer receiving full sheets). "
Apparently the simple phrase "piece of paper" is not going to penetrate through this idiot's skull... he's apparently convinced that it meant to tear the paper into small pieces.
"Write also these words on the same paper: "PLEASE ADD ME TO YOUR MAILING LIST" (In this way, you're not just sending a dollar to someone; you're paying for a legitimate service.) "
We've been all through this one a half dozen times in the other dissections, go check them out for the answer you probably already know in your sleep.
"Fold a $1 dollar bill (real american CASH money) in each paper, and mail them using standard mail to the following five addresses (Don't forget to use the appropriate stamps, some are overseas):"
As opposed to fake Outer Slobovia monopoly money? By the way, don't they capitalize the name of foreign countries where you are from? Stupid twit list coming up....
"1- Daniel Pepper
16415 Glenside Place
Surrey, B.C.
CANADA
V4N 1V6
2- Charlie Robbins
509 college
Storm Lake, Iowa 50588
USA
3- Kevin Scherbey
9766 Linwood St.
Chilliwack, BC
V2P 5L5
CANADA
4- Desa Phanalasy
1060 Brunel
Laval, Quebec
CANADA
H7W 5G4
5- Rest Dandy
Kapellestraat 61
8450 Bredene
Belgium"
Ah, yes, Mr. Dandy. From Belgium. Where "here in Canada" they don't have paper dollars anymore. Idiot.
"***********************************************************************
BE SURE TO SEND IN THOSE DOLLARS. IT'S WHAT MAKES IT WORK
***********************************************************************"
Ah... I see... It won't work if you don't send dollars? Isn't that a little obvious? Probably not for you.
"STEP 2) Now remove the first name off the five people list and move everyone up one position, and put your name in position five. That way, #1 is off the list, #2 becomes #1, #3 becomes #2, #4 becomes #3, #5 becomes #4, and you and your address become #5.
STEP 3) Now post the revised article to at least 250 newsgroups (Give it a catchy name like FAST CASH or GET MONEY NOW! not something that will be too spectacular to make people suspicious like that million-dollar thing). There are at least 19,000 newsgroups at any moment given in time. Try posting to as many newsgroups as you can. (Try to make it to 250 newsgroups. If you REALLY can't, then set yourself a goal, such as 100 groups, or even 50 newsgroups. Remember, the more groups you post to, the more people will see your article and send you cash!
STEP 4) You are now in business for yourself, and should start seeing returns within 7 to 14 days! Remember, the Internet is new and HUGE. There is no way you can lose."
Standard diatribe. Dissected in other letters.
"Here is how the system works: Out of every block of 250 posts you make, suppose you get back 5 responses. That's right, only 5. You make $5 in cash, no checks or money orders, but real cash with your name at #5 (You already are flush!)"
I'm not going to tear the numbers apart here again, it takes too much time and I've done it a half dozen times already in other variants. However, this guy must have been really deprived to consider a $5 on a $5 plus postage and envelopes "investment" to be flush. Either that, or really stupid. You be the judge.... Time's up... yes, you were correct!
"Each additional person who sent you $1 now also makes 250 new postings with your name at #4: 1,000 postings. On average then, 50 people will send you $1 with your name at #4... $50 in your pocket!
Now these 50 new people will make 250 new postings each with your name at #3: 10,000 new postings. Average return, 500 people=$500
They make 250 new postings each with your name at #2 = 100,000 postings: 5,000 returns at $1 each = $5,000 in cash! Finally, 5,000 people make 250 postings each with your name at #1 and you'll get a return of about $55,000 before your name drops off the list. And that's only if everyone down the line makes only 250 postings each!
From time to time, when you see your name is no longer on the list, you can take the latest posting you can find and start all over again."
More standard diatribe, levelled elsewhere.
"The end result depends on you. You must follow through and repost this article everywhere you can think of. The more postings you make, the more cash end up in your mailbox. It's too easy and too cheap to pass up!!!
So that's it. Believe me it works. There are millions of people surfing the 'Net everyday, all day. You know that, you've seen the stories in the newspaper. Follow these simple instructions and play fair. That's the key, and that's all there is to it. Try to keep an eye on all the postings you made to make sure everyone is playing fairly. You know where your name should be. If you're really not sure about this or you think that this cant be real, then don't do it. But please print this article and pass it along to someone you know who really needs the bucks and see what happens.
REMEMBER... HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. YOU DON'T NEED TO CHEAT THE BASIC IDEA TO MAKE THE BUCKS! GOOD LUCK TO ALL, AND PLEASE PLAY FAIR AND YOU WILL WIN AND MAKE SOME REAL INSTANT CASH, AND HELPING OTHER PEOPLE ALONG THE WAY."
It never ceases to amaze me just how stupid these people are, or how gullible they think enough of the rest of the world is. True, there are some gullible enough, or these despicable things wouldn't keep surfacing, but really, do they believe that the majority of people out there are as stupid as they are? Well, I guess most people judge others by themselves, so probably so.
"By the way, if you try to deceive people by posting the message without sending the money to the people already included in the list, you will not get much. Someone did this and got only about $150 (and that's after two months). Then he sent the 5 bills, people added him to their lists, and in 4-5 weeks he had over $10,000!"
I keep forgetting about all those psychotics^H^H^H^H^Hics out there who know instinctively who cheats and who doesn't. Obviously, even the ones who later encounter the cheaters one they "stop cheating" know about it as well and hold a grudge, because he only made "over $10,000" in the same time that you claim everyone else makes $50,000.
"REMEMBER, BE FAIR AND BE HONEST. Ya gotta give a little to get A LOT!"
I can see you have only one characteristic other than basic stupidity that is worth mentioning - and that would be hypocrisy.
