The Dog Parody

Here's a little parody I ripped off from somewhere on the whole thing that might make you smile. And it just might work! (uh, don't try this at home, folks).

THE PLAN

Follow the instructions in the following text.. if all goes well.. as it ALWAYS does.. you should be ROLLING in money by Christmas.

WHAT YOU'LL NEED

2 DOGS	Those furry four-legged animals that say Woof!
1 GRANDMOTHER	Non furry (hopefully) two-legged person.. no Woof!
1 AMOUNT OF MONEY FOR POSTAGE & HANDLING	That stuff you use to buy stuff
1 INCREDIBLY LOW I.Q.	duh???? Forrest

WHAT TO DO

1. Add the name and address of your grandmother to the bottom of the list at the end of this text. (If you have no grandmother.. tell your grandfather to wear a dress)
2. Put your dog in a large (or small) cardboard box.. make sure to put lots of those little foam thingies in there so he/she doesn't get hurt
3. Repeat step two for second dog.
4. Mail ONE package to the grandmother at the top of the list at the bottom of this text.
5. Mail THE OTHER package to the grandmother near the top of the list at the bottom of this text. (Thats the second one)
6. Call YOUR grandmother (or write a letter if the long distance charges are too high).
7. Tell her that you really, really, really, REALLY want dogs for christmas.
8. Remove the name of the grandmother at the top of the list at the bottom of this text.
9. Post this new edited list where 10 people (EXACTLY TEN.. no more.. no less.. otherwise it won't work) will see or get a copy..
10. Wait..
11. Wait some more..

HOW IT WORKS

The ten people who read "your" list will follow all instructions (no joke). When they do this your grandmother will be moved to the fourth spot near the bottom of the list near the end of the list at the end of the text. These ten people will give their lists to ten people. These 100 people will follow all instructions. When they do this your grandmother will be moved to the THIRD spot in the middle of the list at the bottom at the bottom of the text. These 100 people will give their lists to TEN people.
When these 1,000 people get "your" list they will follow all instructions. When they do this your grandmother will be moved to the second spot near the top of the list at the bottom of the text. These 1,000 people will give their lists to ten people. Now the fun starts!

These 10,000 people will follow all instructions. When they do they will see your grandmother's name in the second spot near the top of the list at the bottom of the text and mail one of their dogs to your grandmother. Your grandmother will then be moved to the first spot at the top of the list at the bottom of the text. These 10,000 people will give their list to TEN people These 100,000 people will follow all instructions. When they do they will see your grandmother's name at the top of the list at the bottom of the text and mail one of their dogs to your grandmother.

Then your grandmother is removed from the list at the bottom of the text, never to receive another dog again (unless, of course, one of her OTHER grand children recieve a copy of this text).

WHAT NOW

On Christmas you will recieve 110,000 dogs from your grandmother. You should then proceed to sell these dogs. ($69.71 - MSRP) Once you have sold the dogs you will have $76680. What.. you say $76680 isn't enough???? Well then.. simply obtain 55,000 copies of this text. Then proceed to follow the instructions with the dogs you have recieved. Next Christmas you will recieve 6,050,000,000 dogs.. sell them and you will have $4,217,400,000. What.. you say $4,217,400,000 isn't enough.. then you are one greedy bastard and deserve to be shot.

CAUTION: Do NOT try this method more than twice or your grandmother may become upset.

NOTE

There you have it... $76680 in less than one year, and $4,217,400,000 in less than two years. And the best part it.. IT WORKS. It's SO SIMPLE even YOU could do it. Think about it.. the only cost is two dogs (plus postage and handling).

THE GRANDMOTHER LIST

Thelma Macintosh
2645 Maricopa Street
Torrance, CA 90503-5144

Dellora A. Norris
11100 Gulf Shore Drivem
North Naples, FL 33963

Louise Beckett
4887 Alpha Rd.
Dallas, Texas 75244

Mary Highlight
803 Church Street
Honesdale, PA 18431

Laura Morley
185 Detroit St.
Cary, Illinois 60013